Kennel tales

Yeah I'm back with my human - she didn't forget about me.  Don't get me wrong I've had a great holiday but you can't beat sleeping in your own bed (or your human's bed anyway).  It hasn't been a complete holiday though.  I managed to land myself a job as a puppy sitter to a 14 week old German Schnauzer.  She was in the kennel next to me and got a bit home sick on her first night so I moved my bed to the other side of my kennel so I could snuggle near her.

It was really busy over Christmas and I met lots of new dogs.  My favourite was another black lab girl.  She was a rejected seeing eye dog (guide dog to you Brits).  She was rejected for being too friendly, instead of getting on with her job she kept stopping to say hello to people, a bit like me really.

The week before Christmas was really quiet, so quiet I was all on my own for a couple of nights so the nice lady took pity on me and invited me into the big house.  I repaid her kindness by frightening the living daylights out of her.  It wasn't in my file that I have active dreams: imagine the fright when I started running, barking and growling in my sleep.  Poor Michelle thought I'd been tasered by burglars and was having some kind of fit.  All I remember is dreaming of chasing bunnies in the fields.

We had a party on Christmas day with peanut butter covered treats and presents.  The only downside was having to wear reindeer antlers!  Thankfully there are no photos to embarrass me.

My human brought presents back with her.  Apparently Santa left them in England so she had to bring them back with her.  I got a big tub of biscuits from Brandy's mum; some doggie chocolates and bling for my collar from Merlot; a doggie stocking from Lin and Roger my next door neighbours and favourite dog sitters back home and a superb reindeer tug toy from Victoria, supplier of tummy rubs and cool tug toys.  Thank you all for my Christmas presents.

Snowed in

I've finally managed to dig myself out after the monster snow storm that hit last week. I thought I'd gone blind - I came out of my kennel and all I could see was white! As it turns out I wasn't blind, it was because the snow was so deep - 27 inches deep to be precise. I'm only 2 feet tall! Thankfully my hoteliers have dug paths for me so I can pee without freezing my bits off. I've had such a great time playing in the snow. We've been tobogganing - I love to run along side the sled, made snow angels and built snow dogs. Its brilliant!

Holiday

You will be pleased to know my paw is fully fixed and I'm now on my holidays. My human has left me for the cold and snow of the England and I get to spend three weeks, yes, 3 whole weeks on holiday. I'm boarding next to a lovely black lab called Lucy she's quite a bit younger than me but I can still hold my own when it comes to running around the field.

My human has been moaning about the weather back home - apparently they had a bit of snow and half the country ground to a halt. It's been really cold here, especially at night but the doggie hotel is heated, I've got a blanket and now I'm carrying an extra few pounds I'm toastie warm.

Did I mention I've put on 9lbs since I arrived here? That's 4kgs in new money! I know, fat dog. If I keep this up I'll need lipo suction before I can show my fur back in the UK. It's lack of exercise. I used to run for miles through the fields: now it's a 30 minute on lead walk around the lake. It's just not the same. Oh and the hot dogs, burgers, ice creams and dog biscuits covered in peanut butter probably don't help but hey, if you can't indulge when you are on holiday when can you?

Drugs

I don't know what drugs the vet gave me yesterday but they must have been strong. I dreamt that Santa rode down the main street on a fire engine....

Poorly paw update

I've spent most of the afternoon at the vets. A minor operator to have my dew claw partially removed. Between you and me I'm feeling a little sorry for myself and really tired but that's from the sedative they gave me. It still hurts but the vet says it will get better soon. I'm glad it's gone because it was becoming really annoying catching it all the time, although not quite as annoying as the plastic bag they covered my bandage in. Plastic covered paws and snow are not a good combination - I slid most of the way home. Below you can see the indignity of the plastic bag; heavily bandaged paw and me sporting the latest in designer doggie footwear. Oh heck, I've just noticed they shaved my leg as well - it's going to be -4 tomorrow, I'll freeze.

Highs and Lows

Oh boy what a weekend. We had the first snow of the winter yesterday. The weather humans said it would snow on Saturday but it was raining when I went for my morning walk. It turned to snow later on and continued all day, which would have been fine if we were staying in doors but we'd been invited to my humans friend's house. I know why we've been driving a big 4 by 4 all year - we needed it yesterday. Anyway back to the visit: they have some woods where I'm allowed to run around without my lead on. It was ACE! I haven't been let off for nearly 6 months so truly made the most of it. The snow was a bit cold but you can't pass up opportunities like that. I have picked up a bit of an injury though. I don't remember hurting myself but my dew claw is sticking out at a rather alarming angle and I keep catching it and making it bleed. My human is following me round the apartment with carpet cleaner as I keep bleeding - well she would get a place with cream carpets. It hurts like heck so I let her bandage it up to save me from catching it every time I move. Looks like we'll be paying the vet a visit in the morning. Tea and sympathy please.

Top Tip

Don't pee on trees that are wrapped in christmas lights unless you want to plunge the house into darkness and your bits to tingle. I should sue; I could have been killed.

Guard Dog

Picture the scene - it's cold outside; I'm resting on my bed after my evening stroll; my human is reading her new book. There's a noise outside the apartment; a key being put into the lock; it doesn't turn but the handle is rattled. The key is tried again; we aren't expecting visitors; we have the only keys. Being the protective type I spring from my bed and gather my favourite toy from harms way while my human edges towards the door. The door springs open just as I arrive to see off the unwelcome intruder. It clearly works because the man steps back from the door clearly surprised to see someone in his apartment - oh wait a minute we live on the third floor, he lives above us.... the last time I saw someone look that embarrassed was when I was wee pup and I vomited in the middle of the room at puppy training class.

Believe it or not

I was flicking through a pet magazine we got the other day, you know just for ideas to send to Doggie Claus. You will not believe the stuff you can get.

My 'I can't believe it' top 5 are (in no particular order as it's truly impossible to rank these):

* A fashionable, lightweight pet stroller. Yep, a pram for your pooch. Complete with cup holders!

* A plastic fire hydrant with scent attractant to 'train' your pooch to pee.

* Ideally used with the indoor pet loo - for when the weather is too inclement to go outside.... let me tell you, the weather will never be that inclement!

* Pet steps/ramp to help you onto the sofa when the old joints start letting you down.

* And the ultimate in lost doggie dignity... disposable diapers. Please, I beg of you, if I get to the stage where I need them, take me on a one way visit to the vets.

Clearly there is a market for this stuff. We went to the state park today and saw a dog in a stroller. And the most disturbing thing was he didn't look an old dog at all. Oooh which reminds me; I scared an old dog yesterday when I bounded up to him in my youthful manner. His human said he didn't like puppies because he couldn't keep up with them anymore. Me a puppy, turns out I was two years older than him! Hee hee hee, puppy power!

Thanksgiving

Ooohhh ow, don't make me move. I didn't realize I could eat so much turkey. I'm glad I don't have to clean up after myself tomorrow. Thanksgiving is such a cool holiday: my human doesn't have to go to work; the shops are closed and all we do is eat, drink and play games: no stress about presents and cards; just friends, family and food. I'm exhausted!

Better get some quality sleep ready for Black Friday aka: the sales. Some shops open at 4am in the morning: thankfully the pet shop isn't one of them!

Sulking

I'm not talking to my human at the moment. She has been out two nights in a row. How could she? She leaves me all day, takes me for a quick walk round the block then clears off again. She says she is working but I can smell the beer on her when she gets home. OK so she brought me human food back tonight (steak) and she's spoiling me with treats but still, two nights in a row, it's just not on! And to cap it all she left the TV tuned to Fox News! She knows Animal Planet or the weather channel are my favourites, but no I get Fox News. Whipeee flippin' do!

Long time

Well howdi! Oh ok I'm not in cowboy country but it seemed appropriate to make some kind of statement considering how long it has been since my last post.

To tell the truth all that traveling had wiped me out but I'm back now and it's time to update you on what's been happening in the world of Ben. But before I do that I should finish telling you about my time in New York. It was ace, cold and grey but I really enjoyed it. It was everything I expected it to be: big, busy, noisy and full of wonderful (and not so wonderful) smells. I didn't get chance to walk or pee in central park but I did see the Statue of Liberty, which is much smaller in the flesh than it looks on the telly.

We walked by the worlds most photographed construction site, formally know as the World Trade Centre and reflected on events of that terrible day. I stood on the steps of the court house used in my human's favourite show - Law And Order, and ate a hot dog from a street vendor - just like in the show. It's true what they say about TV adding pounds... my hot dog looked far smaller than the ones you see the actors eating on the TV!

Wall Street isn't as big as you think it should be but it did take me ages to walk down as I had to pee on every financial institution I could find!