Record breaker

First it was record snowfall and the coldest temperatures since the ice age.... now it's hotter than the centre of the sun, well the tarmac roads feel like it by late afternoon.   Morning walks are just about tolerable but the after work walk is now down to a slow plod around the block.  I don't even mind wearing the wet neckerchief any more, in fact loads of people have stopped to admire it.  I have a carefully worked out route with as much grass to walk on as possible.  If it gets any hotter I'm going to have to get flip flops to protect my paws.  Thankfully my human is sensible enough not to shave my fur off.  I met a shaved golden retriever the other day... oh the indignity of it.  His owner said he struggled to get the dog out of the house.  I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to walk the streets naked either.  

Not surprisingly I haven't done much recently.  We can't go anywhere in the car as I would cook in about 2 minutes if left alone.  Not that my human would do that but now and again she needs to pee and you humans aren't as evolved as us canines so have to use restrooms which, oddly enough, dogs aren't allowed in, unless of course it's a 'seeing eye dog' although how they can help a human pee is beyond me.      

The birds and the bees

And the deer and the turtles and, of course. the rabbits are all at it.  There are mini-versions of every conceivable animal around here.  The mummy turtles have ventured out of the lake to lay their eggs.  I met this mom-to-be the other morning.  I think she was a bit shy, she definitely needs to come out of her shell a bit.  

I've had to modify the route of my morning walk due to a rather aggressive bird.  I have no idea what sort it is but it's about the size of a black bird with a very loud screech.  He dive bombs me every time I walk down the street.  The other evening he damn near landed on my back.  It's not like I'm going to climb the tree and eat his kids is it?

Thankfully the ducks and the geese are more laid back.  The big lake resembles an avian nursery right now.  There must be at least 15 families floating around.

The good, the bad and the down right scary

I had a play date with my mate Jack yesterday.  He's really lucky as he lives at a house with loads of trees in the yard and he's allowed to run around off his lead.  We had a blast running round chasing rabbits and fireflies.  He's still a puppy and has a lot to learn like don't pee on visitors shoes.  I couldn't help but chuckle when he came running up to my human and weed on her shoes....and being such a hot day they were sandals as well.  Heee heee heee.  That was the good.

I went to the vets today for my wellness checkup.  I've put another couple of pounds on.  That's a total of 11 since I got here!  I now weigh as much as a new born hippo!  Luckily I carry it well and black is very slimming colour.  I really need to get back to England and the freedom of running off lead and some cooler weather.  I'm not very impressed with those vets, they just seem to want to take money off my human.  Last time they said I had a heart murmur and should consult a doggie cardiologist, no mention of that this time.  They still want me to have my teeth cleaned but I don't fancy being knocked out in order to have pearly whites.  I'm a dog for goodness sake, we don't do cosmetic dentistry.  The latest (money making) diagnosis is I may be developing cataracts and should consult a doggie ophthalmologist.  No need to worry, I feel as fit as a fiddle.  That was the bad.

The down right scary was the storm that interrupted my last posting.  It was horrible!  It didn't last long but it was really violent.  The power went off, trees were knocked down, an apartment building near us was struck and set on fire, no one was hurt though.  So you can stop laughing at me hiding out in the closet, I did the right thing.  My human wasn't too impressed when I dribbled on her fancy laptop.

Fireflies

It's officially summer - the fireflies have returned.  As bugs go they've got to be one of the best around with their little butts lighting up all over the place.  At first I thought I the light they generated was the equivalent of humans lighting their own farts but I can't smell anything when I pass them so I assume it's some other form of chemical reaction.  They are cool though.  I love going out after dark to watch them.

OK I have to cut this short - a huge crack of thunder has just scared the heebee jeebies out of me.  No idea where that came from but I'm off to hide in the closet.

A year on

It's a year to the day that I set paws on US soil; well actually it was tarmac but you know what I mean.  What I have learnt in that year: everything is much bigger than back home.  The cars I've been driven around in are huge and need to be because the drivers are mad.  I've spent more time in kennels this year than in all my previous 8 put together - and I've loved it.  The weather is more extreme than back home.  Thunderstorms are still horrible: tornado warnings are scary.  I've sniffed snakes and turtles and seen more snow than you can ever imagine.  My boyish good looks and English woof made me an instant hit in the neighbourhood which, to be honest, is more like a film set than a village.

If I had to name three things that I miss from back home they would have to be: bacon, being let off the lead to run as free as a 9 year old black lab can and custard creams.  And 3 that I like the most about living in America: hot dogs, hot dogs and hot dogs....  hmmmmm sausages!  

Ah Bless

I just had to share this article with you - a lab went up a mountain and had to be carried back down.  I can sympathise with him.  It's so hot I can barely make it round the block without passing out. 
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/wales/north_west_wales/10307426.stm

Abandond

It's amazing how one's day can change in the wag of a tail.  Take today for example, we were out in the car and stopped at a petrol station.  While my human was struggling to figure out how the pump worked I noticed the woman at the pump in front duck down behind her car; then the guy next to us got out of his car and ran behind the shop.  It wasn't until someone told my human to get down that I noticed a guy about 30 feet away with a hand gun.  Being the brave soldier that I am I ducked behind the front seats just as my human ran behind the shop abandoning me all alone in the car.  No sense drawing attention to myself, he might not have been a dog lover, so I kept my head down until the police arrived.  Thankfully they were there really quickly and the drama was over in a matter of minutes.  I've no idea what was going on; whether the guy was trying to rob the place or what but I was a little bit scared.  It was the reaction of the people around us ducking for cover that scared me - my doggie years flashed before my eyes.  One thing is for sure we'll have to change the rental car because I don't think we'll ever get the smell out of the leather!

It's all pants

I'll get to that in a minute, first an apology for the lack of posts recently.  I've been on vacation, not the whole time but a few weeks.  My human took off to California earthquake hunting or something like that.  I'm not going to tell you about her holiday because this is my blog - she can get her own.

So what's pants then?  Or maybe that should be who's pants?  Remember soon after I first moved here a single sock appeared in the middle of the bedroom carpet?  It wasn't mine or my human's although I did use it to cover my sore paw during the winter.  After any vacation there's a certain amount of washing to do.  Imagine the quizzical looks when my human went to the laundry room and found a pair of ladies pants sitting atop the washer.  They're definitely not mine and far too small to be hers.  The apartment was shut up for two weeks so the mystery is where did they come from?  Maybe our laundry room is a star gate to someone else's laundry room.  So if you've lost a sock or a pair of pants drop me a line.  

Birthday treats

Look at all the treats I bought with my birthday money. We went to the pet store and I got to choose whatever I wanted. I felt like a, like a.... dog in a pet store - it was brilliant.

I feel a bit bloated after pigging out on the T-Bonz. Or maybe it's the hot weather that's making me sluggish.

Movie stars

We had a visitor tonight, the woman from next door. Well I think she is our neighbour because she smelt of cats - not in a nasty way, just to my supersensitive nose. She seems quite nice but can't half talk. She used to work in the movies with Lauren Bacall, Bing Crosby, Tony Curtis, John Wayne and knew some bloke called Elvis, she even showed me a photo of her with him. I've no idea who these people are but she seemed to be very pleased to talk about them. She was a stand in most of the time but did appear in some old film called Stagecoach. It must be old as colour hadn't even been invented; the whole world was black and white!

Happy Birthday to me

Yep, another day older but now I’m 9 not 8.
Am I too old for a mid life crisis? Of course I am, 9 is 63 in your human years isn’t it? If I were a working dog I’d be making retirement plans now. Endless days with my paws up on the sofa watching the weather channel. But I already do that so I guess no change there.

Not like it!

Storm season has arrived! The weather people weren’t kidding when they issued the strong thunderstorm warning. It was a cracker, if you like that sort of thing. I don’t and that’s why I hid in the closet all night. Don’t laugh I wasn’t the only one! At the height of the storm when the hail was lashing down and the wind was trying to blow the windows in and the thunder was shaking the apartment and the lightening was so bright it hurt my eyes, my human came to join me. She tried to make out it was to comfort me but I could smell her fear –the people in the next apartment could probably smell it as well.