Got it!

Yeah!  I've got my passport.  My antibody test was positive which means I got a passport.  That's mine there.  I'm going to have great fun with my human when she tries to get a photo from one of those little booths.  I wonder if I'll look like a criminal like she does in her passport photo. Is it a special filter they use to make the photos look so bad?

I don't think it will be long before we leave.  I've heard her talking about June which in doggie time is really, really soon.  I'm still winning on the prison front.  I reckon she's ignoring it so she'll think I'll forget about it and then magically go in it when she tells me to.  Dream on!

Rescued

Ah ha!  I've rescued my toy and ate the custard creams!  It doesn't mean I've given in - I snook in the prison when my human had gone to the shops.  You should have seen the look on her face when she got back and I greeted her with my toy.  Hee hee.

Feeling Blue

I've been a bit depressed lately.  It was Easter which meant a) my human was at home all day and b) my best mate Brandy came to stay.  He's gone home now and my human is back at work, which means I'm all alone again - with just Terry Wogan for company.  

And to make matters worse my favourite toy is being held captive! Look you can see him in the photo.  My human threw him right to the back of my prison and I refuse to go in and get him.  She's trying all forms of "persuasion" as she calls it to get me in there but so far I've managed to resist. Of course Brandy let me down when he arrived at Easter.  My human had left custard creams in the prison to tempt me in.  I was just about holding out, due mainly to an ample supply being fed to me over the fence from our neighbours.  So anyway, Brandy arrived, walked straight into the prison, ate the biscuits and then settled down for a nap.  Traitor!  I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up though - my human is starting to lose her patience - she tried pushing me in when I wasn't paying attention. Luckily I'm still quick on my paws and managed to make a quick getaway.   

Forgiveness

I give in. I can't keep this sulking up, not when my human is so nice to me. The day after the visit to the vets she took me out in the car to meet my favourite human children. I've known them ever since I was a puppy. Wendy is the eldest and she has two brothers George and Tom who were born together which, apparently, is special with humans. I can't see what all the fuss is - my mum had 9 of us all at the same time.

We all went for a really nice walk and I had loads of treats. I kept having to sit down and shake a paw but it's worth it. I had a great time. They don't live near us any more which is a shame because I do miss them.

So I'm friends again with my human and back to sleeping in the same room as her. I'm still not going in that kennel though!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Vet - again! He shaved off some fur on my leg then stuck a needle in me. Ow, ow, ow! Not even a nice walk and 3 sausages is going to make me forgive my human for a few days.

Let's just say we'll be sleeping in different rooms tonight.

What the?

OK, I'm guessing the trip to the States is back on. My human has bought me a 'present' - note the quotes there... I don't think it's much of present. Yesterday she struggled into the house with a huge plastic kennel. She put my bed in it and then spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get me inside it. It's fantastic fun. She puts a line of treats leading up to and into the kennel, I happily eat all the treats within reach without going in, genius! She's now resorted to throwing my toys into the kennel. At first they were just at the door, then a little bit further meaning I had to stretch and now my toy parrot is lost in the kennel for good. I'm not going in there. She threw the parrot in, she can get it out!

I know what her next plan will be - sausages - she knows I can't resist them. I wonder how quick I can get in, eat the bate and then out again?

Atta Boy

I must have been a good boy this week because I had two fantastic treats. On Monday I went for a walk with Bobby and Cindy two of my best doggie mates. Cindy loves playing fetch with her Frisbee - although she has this really strange habit of bringing it back to my human and then not letting go of it, even though she's desperate for someone to throw it. Very odd for a 'clever' dog. I think Bobby and I are cleverer; if the human throws it they should go and get it. Poor Bobby is suffering a bit now - he's got arthritis, so has a limp. He still tries to run around like he used to but suffers a bit later.

My second treat was staying at Lyn and Roger's. They are my favourite human friends (family aside of course). They take me for walks when my human is too busy to bother with me and, best of all, they feed me human biscuits - custard creams to be precise, not those boring mini-boneo's I usually get. Don't tell anyone but when they see me in the garden they come out and give me biscuits over the fence: it's brilliant! Some mornings I hang around in the garden in the hope they see me and come out with food. I'm such a charmer when I want to be.

Woof neighbourhood

I was thinking the other day how lucky I was to live in a neighbourhood where all the dogs are nice to me. Then within 24 hours I get grumped at by 3 different dogs. Don’t worry I’m alright! My defence is cowardice. I lie down meekly and they tend to leave me alone. My human wading in with her big boots also tends to help. It was a bit scary through.

The first one was a boxer who I’ve never seen before. We were near the end of our morning walk; I was on the lead, then out of nowhere springs this dog. Before I could get my ‘big wus’ defence in play (lie down meekly and pray I don’t get hurt) he’d pinned me to the floor and was growling menacingly at me. Luckily my human was on hand to ‘rescue’ me and then the two humans had words. Apparently the boxer was ‘only playing’ – yeah right.

We met Taz on our evening walk that same day. I don’t know what type he is but he’s got a squashed nose and a big fluffy tail. He barks all the time. He always grumbles at me but I just ignore him now. He’s always on the lead so I run past him as fast as I can making sure I’m just out of reach – hee, hee.

The latest incident was much more frightening. I think his name is Doug. He’s an Australian cattle dog with an attitude problem. Maybe he’s forgotten that we used to play together when he was a puppy because I swear he tried to kill me. Thank fully he was on his lead and his human didn’t stand for any nonsense. He must be a strong dog though because his human had to pretty much sit on him so we could get past. I don’t think I’ll shed any tears over him when I go to America.

I’ll introduce you to my friends next time.

Yawn

Man it's a tough life. It's very nice of my human to let me have my own sofa. I wish she wouldn't make me get off when we have visitors though.

It's gone very quiet on the US front. Haven't heard her talking about it for a while. Maybe she's changed her mind and I don't have to go on the plane.

Almost the weekend. I wonder if she has anything exciting planned for me. I'd love a run on the beach.

No sign of any clothes, maybe I've got away with that as well.

What's in a name?

I'm struggling a bit here. What do I call the one who feeds me, walks me and looks after me? I think she'd like it if I called her the boss but that's not really true. We have this mutual understanding where she asks me to do something and I do what I want. OK I'm not that bad but I do suffer from deafness at times. So I don't think boss is the right thing to call her. Owner is far too possessive for my linking. Slave? Hmm maybe not, I'm working on it but not quite there yet. I'm going to try with 'my human' for now and see how that works.

My human measured me today. Not weighed, measured as in length, width, height. I'm a bit worried she might be thinking of buying me some clothes. I hope not. I'd get laughed at by all my mates. I don't mean to offend anyone but dogs in clothes - it's wrong! Not even a 'super dog' outfit would change my mind... although... Super Dog Ben to the rescue.... no, it's wrong! Pleeeeeease don't buy me any clothes. It's bad enough having to wear that harness in the car but if you've seen my human's driving you'll understand why I insist on wearing it!

A good weekend

Usually when we go away for the weekend it's a mad rush on a Friday night packing (mostly my stuff) then a quick walk round the block and into the car. This weekend I was tricked. No frantic packing or short walk on Friday night. It was a bit of shock to be woken up at 5.30 on Saturday morning though! We're early risers during the week but I let her have a lie in at weekends - 7 O'clock is about the right time to get up on the weekend isn't it?

Anyway, there we are doing the Friday night routine at 5.30 on Saturday morning. Into the car and the endless journey... to see my best mate Brandy. Yeah what a fantastic treat. I had no idea we were going. Neither had Brandy's person by the look on her face. Brandy is fed, groomed and walked by my person's mum - that's why we get on so well. Brandy is fab. He's a lab like me but he's yellow (golden if you are posh) and quite a bit bigger than me even though he is younger by a few months.

We had a brilliant weekend. We went for two long walks one with Brandy's friend Cassy a rescued Staffy. She's only young and full of beans. Boy can she run. I think I'm getting a bit old to be chased around by these young 'uns.

Ouch!

Ow, ow, ow! She took me to the vets today for a rabies jab. Aparently I need that so I can come back to the UK after our time in America. Everytime I go to the vets he jabs me. Apparently that's good because it means I'm healthy. Yeah right, you try that. She did take me for a nice walk after and bought me a susage from the chippy, so shouldn't really complain. Hmmmmm sausages, my favourite.