Displaced

The last month has been so topsy turvy I don't know whether I'm coming or going.  I spent two weeks at my country retreat with my pals Jack and Piper when my human was back home.  Then we had a weird night in our new house: no furniture or lights but it was pretty cool - literally, as the air con was working there and not at my usual house.  As soon as the air con was fixed I was sleeping in my usual house for a few nights and now I'm back at the country retreat with my human looking after my pals Jack and Piper while there humans are back in England.  I tell you I don't know where to call home these days.  I can't complain though, it is great not to have to be leashed all the time.  I can just wander around sniffing here and there to my hearts content.   

Lucky Dog

Am I the luckiest dog in North America or what?  Look what my human has bought me..... yep it's a garden, and it's all mine.  I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to feel grass between my paws; to roll around in the grass; to walk around without a lead around my neck.  Oh the freedom.  I'm so happy!  

 Here's me taking a toy for a walk around my new place.

 

And the front garden looking towards my new park

 How does my human always get her car in the picture?

Health Update

The good news is my paw is getting getting better and I don't have any broken bones; arthritis; lung problems; neurological issues; no kidney problems; no cancer; my blood work was fine, in fact I'm disgustingly healthy for my age.  My heart murmur is a bit worse but nothing to worry about.  Despite pinning me to the floor and checking all my joints and sticking needles in me the vet could find nothing wrong with me which I find really funny because I've definitely got a limp but that's for her to find out, I'm not telling her what's wrong; that's why she went to school for so long, she can work it out. 

I had a great time on Friday - freedom to roam round a garden without that silly lead limiting my movement.  It was sooooo nice.  My human was on tenterhooks for a time as I get threatened to jump in the swimming pool.  It looked so inviting.  She got a bit animated whenever I got within 6 inches of the water.  I was only looking - honest!
 

Poorly Paw

My human has walked me so much I've worn my paws out.  Well not quite but I have managed to wear my nails down so much they are bleeding.  I tried my best to keep the blood off the cream carpet but there was so much of it.  I've been patched up for now and off to the doggie doctor tomorrow for a proper checkup.  It's a great excuse to just lounge around all day without feeling guilty. 

Neighbours

Everybody needs good neighbours.  And I certainly have them.  Not sure how many kiddies are in there but I'd hazard a guess at 3.  Mommy and daddy seem to be working really hard to keep the little fellas fed.  It's a good job they get a lot of exercise flying back and forth, that hole is really small for them to get through.  

  

Making a mess

I've been a bit lazy of late dragging my feet during my walk, it's so hot and I get tired so quick in the heat.  Trouble is I've dragged my heels (so to speak) I've worn my nails down so much they started to bleed the other day.  It's no big deal it doesn't hurt or anything and it was only a bit of blood on the kitchen floor, oh and a bit on the wooden floor; and a bit more on the cream carpet; and some more on the rug.... well anyway I digress.  It doesn't hurt and the upside is the floors are lovely and clean.  My human is now treating me like a small human telling me to pick my feet up.  She's threatened me with a trip to the vet if it happens again or worse still making me some booties out of duct tape.  Oh the humiliation! 

Please Don't

For the love of all things BBQ, don't shave your golden retriever!  Not only do they look really stupid they hate it - I know I've spoken to them.  It's degrading.  They have survived thousands of years without the need for a short back and sides.  Stop being cruel!  If they are hot turn up the air con you cheap humans. 

Top Three

Top three things I hate about my new home, in reverse order:
3.  No decent food - no sausages, no bacon, no custard creams.
2.  Snakes!
1. Thunderstorms!  I swear I've lost my weight in dribble this month because of those pesky storms.  The only plus side to it is I get to spend more time with my human.  OK so we may be hiding in the cupboard under the stairs but it's quality human time all the same.

Birthday Excitement

Mother nature has arranged a wonderful light show for my birthday.  When I say wonderful I really mean scary, noisy, dribbling and shaking with fear thunderstorm.  Thankfully my human came home in time to whisk me round the block before the rain came.  She is now glued to the weather channel watching the next storm come in.  Hopefully we will get away with just rain and thunder, I don't think my nerves will take another tornado warning.  And there I was thinking she was getting the matches out to light the candles on my cake. 

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. 

Can you believe it I am 10?  TEN!  Where did the years go?  One minute I'm running free as a dog who slipped his lead, chasing bunnies through the fields, the next I'm in a crate on a plane to a life of thunderstorms, hot weather, and walks on the lead.

My human is planning a party for me this weekend.  She says it's for the Royal wedding but I know that's just a ruse to put me off the scent.  I hope we have sausages on sticks, and sausages not on sticks for that matter.  Just sausages, that would be nice.  Hmmmm sausages!

I need a nap.

Long arm of the law

Well that's been an entertaining few hours.  When we got back from my walk the other night I alerted my human to a business card on the floor at our door.  She wanted to walk right past it but I insisted she pick it up.  It's a good job she did as it was from the local sheriff.  Talk about guilty conscience, she paced back and forwards for ages before finally ringing the number on the card.  Predictably there was no answer so she spent the entire night wondering what dastardly deed had caught up with her.  I was surprised how long her list was.  Luckily for me she wasn't arrested, and I don't have to go in a home, he was looking for a previous occupier.  Phew!  My belly rubs are safe for now. 

How to...

make an impression.  Not all first impressions are good and some are certainly more memorable than others.  Take Jack for example, I still remember him piddling on my human's feet when he first met her.  we had some people round for lunch yesterday.  I'd never met them before so naturally I had to put on a good show.  When they arrived I greeted them with my favourite toy - the floppy bunny.  We played a bit of tug and a bit of fetch; I had a lick of their exposed flesh as normal, then they settled down to lunch.  Hmmm roast pork with all the trimmings.... queue my staring role of the day ... I threw up on the rug next to the dinning table.  It wasn't just a little cough either it the was the full Monty so to speak.  To say I wasn't very popular was an understatement.  Better out than in I always say.  And to our visitors if you are reading this... I'm sorry if I put you off your creme brulee.