Believe it or not

I was flicking through a pet magazine we got the other day, you know just for ideas to send to Doggie Claus. You will not believe the stuff you can get.

My 'I can't believe it' top 5 are (in no particular order as it's truly impossible to rank these):

* A fashionable, lightweight pet stroller. Yep, a pram for your pooch. Complete with cup holders!

* A plastic fire hydrant with scent attractant to 'train' your pooch to pee.

* Ideally used with the indoor pet loo - for when the weather is too inclement to go outside.... let me tell you, the weather will never be that inclement!

* Pet steps/ramp to help you onto the sofa when the old joints start letting you down.

* And the ultimate in lost doggie dignity... disposable diapers. Please, I beg of you, if I get to the stage where I need them, take me on a one way visit to the vets.

Clearly there is a market for this stuff. We went to the state park today and saw a dog in a stroller. And the most disturbing thing was he didn't look an old dog at all. Oooh which reminds me; I scared an old dog yesterday when I bounded up to him in my youthful manner. His human said he didn't like puppies because he couldn't keep up with them anymore. Me a puppy, turns out I was two years older than him! Hee hee hee, puppy power!

Thanksgiving

Ooohhh ow, don't make me move. I didn't realize I could eat so much turkey. I'm glad I don't have to clean up after myself tomorrow. Thanksgiving is such a cool holiday: my human doesn't have to go to work; the shops are closed and all we do is eat, drink and play games: no stress about presents and cards; just friends, family and food. I'm exhausted!

Better get some quality sleep ready for Black Friday aka: the sales. Some shops open at 4am in the morning: thankfully the pet shop isn't one of them!

Sulking

I'm not talking to my human at the moment. She has been out two nights in a row. How could she? She leaves me all day, takes me for a quick walk round the block then clears off again. She says she is working but I can smell the beer on her when she gets home. OK so she brought me human food back tonight (steak) and she's spoiling me with treats but still, two nights in a row, it's just not on! And to cap it all she left the TV tuned to Fox News! She knows Animal Planet or the weather channel are my favourites, but no I get Fox News. Whipeee flippin' do!

Long time

Well howdi! Oh ok I'm not in cowboy country but it seemed appropriate to make some kind of statement considering how long it has been since my last post.

To tell the truth all that traveling had wiped me out but I'm back now and it's time to update you on what's been happening in the world of Ben. But before I do that I should finish telling you about my time in New York. It was ace, cold and grey but I really enjoyed it. It was everything I expected it to be: big, busy, noisy and full of wonderful (and not so wonderful) smells. I didn't get chance to walk or pee in central park but I did see the Statue of Liberty, which is much smaller in the flesh than it looks on the telly.

We walked by the worlds most photographed construction site, formally know as the World Trade Centre and reflected on events of that terrible day. I stood on the steps of the court house used in my human's favourite show - Law And Order, and ate a hot dog from a street vendor - just like in the show. It's true what they say about TV adding pounds... my hot dog looked far smaller than the ones you see the actors eating on the TV!

Wall Street isn't as big as you think it should be but it did take me ages to walk down as I had to pee on every financial institution I could find!

Halloween

The world appears to have been taken over by cartoon characters, dead celebrities, ghosts and ghouls. I went for my walk earlier and was amazed by what has happened tonight. There are ghosts and witches and fairies and storm troopers and snow white, with more dwarfs than is healthy for a such a pretty character. And dinosaurs and wolves and lady birds and everything else in between. Nearly every house is decorated with lights and pumpkins and buckets of candy - it's no wonder there are so many dentists in America.

The long goodbye

It was departure day for the English visitors today. All the cases were packed and loaded into the car. The goodbyes were said, the cuddles, the tears, the sad farewell at the door. Then 3 hours later they walk back through the door. Apparently the flight was overbooked and they opted to fly tomorrow which is great because they get free tickets to come out and see me again next year! Oh and of course I get another day of being pampered.

I might have to go to the airport with them tomorrow just to make sure they get on the plane this time :-)

More States

We seem to have been driving for days. Yesterday we drove around some lovely seaside towns near Boston: Yarmouth, Plymouth, Hull. The weather was beautiful and I even got my paws wet in the Atlantic. Plymouth was an interesting little town where the founding fathers came ashore.

We are now in the Big Apple, well almost, we are across the Hudson in Jersey City, right on the river bank. The drive into town was a little hair raising at times, so much traffic in such a small space. The Manhattan skyline is wonderful at night. Another bus tour awaits in the big city.

Boston Tea Party

Well we didn't have tea, or beer come to think of it (home to Sam Adams brewery) but we did go on a bus and a boat. The weather was fantastic, 70F (21C) in mid October and such a contrast to the 5 inches of rain/sleet/snow we have driven through over the last few days.

I almost had a walk on part in a movie but I don't have a visa to work in the US. I have no idea what the movie was but the film crew were all set up for a scene with extras and cars strategically positioned along the street. Our tour guide said it was either Tom Cruise or Matt Damon who was starring so it looks like I have to go to see all their new films just so I can see the scene they were filming.

We drove past the 'Cheers' bar but I wasn't allowed in. We did the full tourist bus tour where the driver/guide was obsessed with history an

d putting the English down. Considering that Boston is famous for the tea party it's sad to find out the historic wharf where the affair took place is now just a bog standard office block with a tiny little plaque to mark the occasion.

At least some history has been preserved, well about 10% of it anyway. We stopped off at Charlestown navy yard in the city to see the USS Constitution better known as 'Old Ironside', the oldest floating, undefeated, battle ship in the world. For something made of wood it's pretty impressive.

I'll have a P please Bob.

That was a long old drive (in the rain) from DC to Boston, through Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York state, Connecticut and Massachusetts. We were going to stay on Cape Cod but we didn't like the look of the place when we arrived so we went to plan B and are now staying in Boston. I know, I know, you are all saying Cape Cod is lovely but take it from me, out of season, in the pouring rain, close to freezing point when you drive in past half derelict strip malls, it's not so appealing!

I must say they know how to cater for the motorist in this county, even us doggies have our own rest areas with plenty of trees for me to inspect and yes, I did visit most of them.

Off sightseeing in Boston tomorrow - I hope it stops raining. At least all the snow has melted!

The English are coming

Well actually they are here! My human's mum and sister have come for a holiday - sadly dad is no longer with us which is a real shame 'cause he used to give really good belly rubs. They arrived a few days ago and brought the English weather with them - in other words it has rained since the day they landed.

So what's in store? Once they've got over their jet lag we are heading upt' norf to Boston and then the bright lights of New York city.

It's funny having other people in our apartment. I've got so used to it being just the two of us. It's nice to have people around during the day though. I just wish it would stop raining and warm up a bit. The weather people are saying it is going to snow in Boston tomorrow - if you ask me it feels cold enough to snow in DC today. I think I'm going to need a coat for winter and maybe some boots.

Pool Party

Have you noticed how there's always one show off at every party? I didn't like the water, it smelt funny. My human is really disappointment with me for not going for a swim. You'd think she'd have learnt by now that I'm a sensitive little doggie.

Severed Heads

It seems as though I have underestimated this Halloween business. It's huge over here and, unlike the UK, it is really nice. Lots of the houses in the neighbourhood have been decorated with lights and witches and cats and spiders and all sorts of ghostly things. I was walking down the street last night, just minding my own business, sniffing away, having a tinkle here and there, I poked my head into some bushes and nearly jumped out of my fur. Nestled next to a tombstone were two severed heads! OK so on closer inspection they were plastic but they didn't half get my pulse racing. I love the scarecrows and the smell of pumpkins is just divine.