White Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody.  I'm on holiday at Jack's house with his human family.  As you can see I've made myself at home and made friends with Marmite the cat.  It's not all lazing around though, I get to go out loads of times during the day, I must say it's very nice.

Christmas Day was a bit upsetting not being with my human and not getting any presents either.  Santa Paws clearly didn't get the message that I'd moved so I guess he must have left all my presents at my house.

I was so excited Christmas morning.  I helped Santa put the presents under the tree the night before, point of interest, reindeer stink!  Not surprising really with the amount of work they have to do - it's one BIG sleigh they are hauling.  I was awake bright and early waiting for the little human to get up and run downstairs all excited and ready to tear in to the wrapping paper.  Five O'clock came and went, 6 O'clock passed.  Come on, what sort of 4 year old isn't awake at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning?  I couldn't contain myself any longer so I started making a fuss to be let out.  They were all up pretty soon after that... works every time! 

It started snowing mid morning - how cool is that, a proper white Christmas.  

Princess Ben

A windchill of -16oC for this morning's walk - if that doesn't wake you up nothing will.

I must pack my bags for my holiday at my mate Jack's.  I'm so looking forward to it.  His little human is wonderful.  See how she looked after me at Thanksgiving....

The gloves are on

My human has bought new gloves.  No more makeshift hand warmers for her. 

Is it wrong?

If it's 7 degrees below with a windchill doubling that, is it wrong for your human to warm her hands on your poop?  It is bagged but it feels wrong.

That's better

Oh boy that feels so much better.  I had my anal glands squeezed last week, well the technical term is 'expressed' but they were squeezed by a rather nice doggie doctor.  If you are not a dog you won't understand the utter relief of having them cleared.  I tell you, it was the best 19 bucks I've ever spent, worth every cent!  Even my human benefited as the doc took me into the back room for the 'procedure'.  The first time I had it done my human nearly threw up, it was so embarrassing.  If she doesn't like it out, imagine how I feel having it inside me.   

Early Riser

I'm struggling to adjust to the time change.  Why do you humans insist on playing with time twice a year?  It plays havoc with my body clock and it puts my human in a real grumpy mood.  Take Sunday morning for example, she was not impressed when I woke her up at my normal weekend 7 am, how was I supposed to know her human clock had gone back an hour?  And Monday morning... well it's best not to repeat the language that came out of her mouth when I gave her a wake up kiss.  She twittered on and on about it being 'only 5 O'clock', what, all of a sudden 5 O'clock is the new 6 O'clock?  I can't tell the time, how am I supposed to know?  I can't wind my body back an hour just like that.    

Belated Halloween

I live in the safest neighbourhood in the world.  Why the bold claim?  Well last weekend I saw 3 Buzz Lightyears; 2 Spidermen; Superman; Batman; a doctor and a mortician.  OK so the mortician didn't make me feel safe but all those superheroes did.  What I want to know is if they are all here who's protecting the rest of the world?  

And if you are wondering, no I didn't get a costume despite my human dragging me to the pet store to look at them.  Can you really see me as a pumpkin or the devil - although I have to admit I do look good in red!  I did see a 70lb chocolate Lab dressed as a fairy.  I should have phoned the SPCA as that is really cruel.  I saw the best dog costume on TV.... Dog Yoda - it's so cool.

Chocs away

My human really must pay closer attention to packaging.  She got in from work today, ripped open a parcel containing two advent calendars and ate both chocolates behind door number 1.  You'd think the picture of the cute doggie in the santa hat on one of them would be a give away that they weren't both for her.... serves herself right for opening them early.  She owes me a doggie chocolate!

Not again

Late last night my super sensitive hearing alerted my human to an alarm sounding outside.  We bravely went on to the balcony to investigate and saw lights flashing inside her favourite restaurant just across the street.  Fearing for the safety and supply of the rather excellent chicken with hot garlic sauce, she called 911.  The cops arrived within minutes and, as you can see from the video, it wasn't someone stealing the fortune cookies.  Mental note for next time... flashing lights and siren equals fire alarm not burglar alarm.  Thankfully the only damage was to the door the firemen kicked in to vent the smoke from the building.

 

Here we go again

You'd think by late October all the nasty weather would have passed by just like the summer.  But oh no, 'fall furry' is on the way.  Yet again the news channels are predicting doom and gloom; the end of the world is nigh: high winds, heavy rain, thunderstorms, tornado watches in effect until morning.  Looks like I'll be sleeping in the closet again.

Neighbours

Everybody needs good neighbours... preferably not ones who start vacuuming at 6 am or put their noisy washing machine on in the middle of the night.  The guy upstairs does 14 star jumps at 11.30 each night right before he goes to bed.  I'm not joking, bump, bump, bump 14 times every night 11.30 on the dot.

I wonder what the new downstairs neighbours think of me?  I wonder if they can hear me wandering around in the middle of the night, or the woofing and howling when I dream.  One thing is for sure I'm a lot quieter than the two dogs that have just moved in.  Talk about letting us know they are new.  Yap, yap, yap all day long.  I was watching them move in the other day.  It's amazing the amount of stuff they've crammed in to their apartment.  There can't be any room left for their dogs to stretch out but judging by the doggie push chair outside the door they are probably not that active.  Promise me, no matter how sick I get, no matter how rickety my legs get, never, ever put me in a pram.  I'd sooner suffer the indignity of dragging my arse along the ground before being pushed around in a pram.

Top Tip

No matter how much I beg, or dribble, or give the doe eyed look you adore so much.  Never, ever feed me cheese puffs.  The pile of bright orange vomit on the cream carpet should be proof enough that I can't stomach them.